#7 of 32 It’s Yoga time!!

Yoga is something I thought would be good for me.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned that relaxing is not part of my usual routine.  I realised recently, that if I am at a loose end and have nothing to do, I can be a real grumpy pants. So maybe I should learn to relax.

For years yoga had been recommended to me to assist with back and neck tension. I have many friends who love yoga and for about 6 years I avoided going to a class.   I always avoided yoga because I thought that it’s just not my thing.  I don’t know how I came to this conclusion because I knew nothing about it. So I added it to my list of new things for 2013.

I should probably mention that part of my reluctance in going to yoga was my perceived lack of flexibility.  Once upon a time (more than 10 years ago), I did a fitness test.  The results showed that my level of flexibility was so poor it did not even appear on the scale for females, my flexibility was considered to be very poor for a male. My flexibility was probably never helped by my defiance against having to stretch.

With age and my level of activity increasing, stretching in the last few years has become no longer a choice, but a necessity.

With the help of social media, I sourced some local yoga classes.  I ended up in a class where a friend is the instructor.  She gave me an easy out, telling me to come along and try it and if I didn’t like it, she wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t come back.  I took another friend with me for moral support, but in reality I would have gone on my own, but I thought she would enjoy it.

It wasn’t what I had expected, it was so much more. I really enjoyed it. The lights were dimmed and the room and was warm.  I started off a little shaky. It was so quiet, my breathing was all over the place and I struggled to balance.  I wanted to laugh out loud at myself, I had to calm down and relax.

By the end of the class I had felt a release.  The tension and stress of the day had gone.  I was relaxed and feeling sleepy.  The next day I didn’t feel like myself, the tension through my shoulders and jaw wasn’t there.  It was a strange feeling.

I have since been to a second class. I’m getting a lot out of the class and seeing improvement in myself, but I still have a long way to go to get the most out of yoga.  It takes me a while to get into the class, to get centred, to calm my breathing and to focus.  It’s hard to switch off my mind and forget the million things I need to do. I think yoga is good for me, so I’m going to continue trying.


The journey continues

So following on from the unlocking of the vault, I am continuing with much trepidation. For now, I probably just need to get over myself and everyone else. What has been done is done. I can’t change it.  That being said, my lips are now sealed. There will be no more spilling, from me anyway.

It’s not that I want to live a secret life. It’s just really hard to find your own path, when so many people want to tell you what they think you should be doing.  Ideas can get blurred and things get confusing and you end up agreeing just so people will stop talking. I have also found myself being defensive and argumentative in situations where my life decisions have been questioned. This makes me really annoyed at myself because that kind of reaction doesn’t suit me and is not my usual style.

I’m a big believer of not sweating the small things and that I can only be responsible for my own actions. I sometimes have to remind myself of these beliefs because I can get carried away and don’t put them into practice.

So, I’ve decided to take a deep breath (or maybe a few) and say goodbye to the bad vibes and move on.

After surviving recruitment boot camp, I have started a new job.  It’s not my ‘It’ job and I don’t think I will stay forever, but it’s keeping me entertained for now. My official title is ‘Inbound Customer Service Agent’, which pretty much means people call me and I give them information. I’m casual, which I love.  It gives me good flexibility to follow my passions and make the most out of my gap year.

My journey continues….


The knockers

Recently I had a tough weekend at the office.  I say the office because I don’t have a job at the moment and some social occasions are feeling a little like work.

On a normal day I like to think that the world sees me as a strong, positive and outgoing person, but recently my spirit was given a little battering.

Over the course of a day and night I felt attacked, berated and interrogated by a series of people who I had called my friends. I was put in the hot seat and pumped for information continually. Tell me about your life, what are you doing? Where are you going? Why don’t you have a job?  Are you looking for a job? How do you feel about not having a job? Are you ok? Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

I was criticised for my ideas not being creative enough or for not putting myself far enough out of what they thought was my comfort zone.

I had a number of demands from people wanting to read my personal writing catalogue, so they can provide me with feedback and then was berated for my writing being for myself and not wanting to share. Apparently everyone needs feedback……

Nothing was off limits. It was open slather on my life.  For most people who have been searching for something like a job for a while, you would relate to having some bad days. The self doubt, the frustration, the knock backs. It takes effort to not dwell on the past and move on.  Every week I feel proud of myself for not dwelling on the things that I cannot change, I am constantly thinking of new ideas or tactics and keep going. I am on a journey of discovery and I’m not looking for a quick fix, so I know it will take me a little while to get to where I want to be.

Although these were not the first people who had queried my life and my job choices, it was the severity of the attacks that left me feeling a little taken back.

Although I have since picked myself up and moved from the conversations of the weekend, things are still lingering in my mind.  I’m angry that I allowed the criticism and judgements of others to effect me so much and wonder why the opinions of people I know affect me more than others.

I have decided to distance myself from the people who are critical and judgemental of my life.  I think that your friends are a reflection of yourself and their attacks and negativity are not a representation of who I am and I would never do that to anyone.

In light of my weekend and my decisions to move on, I have decided to do something positive. I’m going to do something nice and brighten someone else’s day.  🙂